Best Night Ever by kr2009
by FirstTimeFumbles
Summary: Bella's only date requests lately come from a much older generation. Will her awkwardness guarantee her forever alone status filled with Netflix and cats or can a surprising blind date turn her luck around?


**Title**: Best Night Ever

**Summary**: Bella's only date requests lately come from a much older generation. Will her awkwardness guarantee her forever alone status filled with Netflix and cats or can a surprising blind date turn her luck around?

**Pairing**: Bella/Edward

**Word Count**: 7,740

"So . . . can I take you out sometime, Miss Bella?"

Somehow I manage to stop myself from rolling my eyes, pretending I didn't hear the question as I finish taking Mr. Newton's blood pressure.

The fellow is seventy-five and basically harmless, though completely relentless in his attempt to ask me out every time he comes in the office.

He asks again while I take his temperature – I curse the day we switched from oral thermometers – but again I pretend it didn't happen.

"All right, Mr. Newton," I finally say after recording all of his vitals. "Let's get you settled in an exam room." I help him into the closest room available, and I swear he pinches my ass. Quickly, I back toward the door and place his chart in the designated slot. "Dr. Cullen will be with you soon."

I don't wait for an answer before closing the door. I stand against it, trying to gather my bearings, which makes my co-workers laugh when they walk by. These people suck. I thought it was kind of weird that they were all very excited when I was hired. Not that I'm not awesome or anything, but it was a bit excessive. The reason was clear in a matter of days. The low man on the totem pole has to deal with all the horny old men – and that low man would be me.

Nurses don't eat their young. They feed them to the wolves. The saggy, lecherous wolves.

After I gather myself and make sure my ass won't have a bruise, I head to find Dr. Cullen to tell him which room his next patient is in.

Most of the rooms are empty since we just opened a few minutes ago, and it's easy to hear Dr. Cullen behind one of the doors that's not shut all the way.

This matter isn't urgent and the receptionist doesn't have another patient for me yet, so I wait outside the door and straighten a few stacks of education packets. I halfway hear the conversation in the exam room, but curiosity gets the better of me when I realize Dr. Cullen's being a lot more personal with this patient than usual. Not that he isn't always a very caring and compassionate man, but he doesn't call patients "son" regularly.

"Everything's clear, son. We ran all the usual and HIV – all negative. Your cholesterol and triglycerides are within normal range as well, so you're good to go."

"Great. Thanks, Dad."

Dad?

I wrack my brain, trying to remember if I've seen pictures of Dr. Cullen's family the few times I've had to step into his office. I've been here long enough to have met his wife, Esme, and I think I remember her saying they have two sons.

Before I can think about it any more, the door opens fully and Dr. Cullen steps out followed by . . . holy hotness, Batman. I'm sure my chin drops as I stare at the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. Carlisle Cullen is pretty hot for an older guy, but apparently he gave all of his best genes to his kid. The jaw, the green eyes, the reddish brown hair that looks like it's never met a comb. I might be drooling.

They pat each other on the back, and Gorgeous Son Cullen leaves without even glancing at me. It figures. Only the saggy old ones pay attention to me.

Dr. Cullen notices me as soon as he turns to walk down the hall, and I try to recover as quickly as I can. He does _not_ need to know I was just ogling his son after he gave him his STD testing results. Talk about awkward.

He smiles and regards me carefully. "Is everything all right, Bella?"

Apparently I'm not doing so well with recovering.

"Uh yeah. Mr. Newton is waiting for you in room three."

"Ahh." He nods in understanding. "Am I going to be filing any sexual harassment charges today?"

I shake my head with a laugh, thankful he thinks I'm all discombobulated from _that_ encounter. And grateful because I know he'd actually support me filing chargers if I wanted to. "Nah, not today. He got me good, but I'll live." I rub my ass which makes him laugh again.

"All right. Just let me know if you change your mind. And in case Mr. Newton changes his mind about his preferences, come save me if I'm not out in thirty."

Covering my mouth, I try to stop my snort but end up failing. I snort laugh all the way up to the front desk and of course my co-workers ask what's wrong. At least this time we're all laughing at Dr. Cullen's expense instead of mine.

I really do love working here. Hospital nursing was great and all but this office atmosphere is my favorite, with the slower pace and familiarity with the patients. Not all of them make passes at me, and there are definitely many more good days than bad.

This day turns out to be a good one – even after the Newton incident and fighting off another one of our famous seniors – and soon I find myself in my pajamas on the couch, ready for my usual Friday night Netflix marathon with my best friend.

Alice shows up right on time with a large pizza, a bottle of cheap wine, and some chocolate chip cookie dough, proving why we're friends.

We start the evening off right, polishing off the whole pizza and a movie before moving on to the heavy duty wine and cookie dough consumption with a rom com to top it off.

Unfortunately, this combination leads to a round of word vomit from me.

"I cannot believe this. How is it that the hot guy falls in love with that ugly girl without even meaning to? This doesn't happen in real life. I don't think I'm even that ugly. I mean, sure, I could put more effort into it, but I'd say I'm pretty average, right? But there definitely aren't any hot guys falling in love with me. I just get the old saggy, pervy ones trying to grab my ass and stare down my shirt. How is that fair? What am I doing wrong? How did you find Jasper? You guys are so perfect and will probably make beautiful babies and I'm going to die alone."

I'm about to ask her if she'll buy me a cat for my birthday to get a head start on my cat lady status, but she places her hand over my mouth.

"Bella! Take a breath. Jeez. Did you start drinking before I got here? What brought this on?"

I take a breath as she said, and the oxygen helps clear my head just a bit.

"Better?" she asks, watching my closely, and I nod. "Okay. Now, seriously. Did something happen today?"

"Not exactly . . . " I tell her about my encounters of the day and my sore ass, but she's used to hearing these kind of stories. When I mention Gorgeous Son Cullen, though, she sits up straight and really pays attention.

"So the doc has a hot son, huh? Did you talk to him?"

"What? No! He's Dr. Cullen's son!"

"Annnd?" I just look at her, not knowing what she's getting at. "Why should that stop you? There's not some kind of 'no fraternizing with the boss's family' policy, is there?"

I slowly shake my head. "Well, not that I know of, but why would he be interested in me? He didn't even look my way when he left."

"Maybe he was in a hurry." She shrugs. "Why wouldn't he be interested in you? You're much better than _average_ as you said. You're beautiful, Bella." I scoff. "What? You are. You just need to get out more. That's how I have Jasper. Yeah, we met in college, but we found each other because I went out and met people."

More? Try get out at all. Most of my time off is spent hanging out with Alice and her husband or my parents. Now that I think about it, it's really no wonder I'm alone.

"But where would I go?" I ask. "No offense, but I'd rather not always be the third wheel for you and Jazz."

She sits back and thinks for a minute. "Hmm . . . are you opposed to a blind date?"

My first instinct is to say no way in hell will I ever do that. But the wine is making me reconsider. It's not like I'm lining dates up on my own, after all, and the only eligible bachelors I seem to meet basically have one foot in the grave.

And while I'm usually fairly content with being twenty-five and single, I'd still like some companionship of the male variety. With some sex. _Good_ sex. With an actual person instead of my trusty battery-operated friend. The two year dry spell has gone on long enough.

"Not opposed," I finally answer. "But do you have someone in mind?"

"Possibly. Jasper's mentioned a friend at work, and I think he might be single. I'll let you know, okay?"

Letting out a deep breath, I nod. I hope I don't regret this decision.

.

I wake up the next morning with a ridiculous headache and memories of a ridiculous decision. Did I really give Alice permission to set me up on a blind date? Am I effing insane?

After some water, pills, and breakfast, I'm feeling better so I sit and try to remember everything that was said last night. It's only a little fuzzy so remembering isn't a problem. The real problem is that yes, I did give Alice permission to set me up with someone I don't even know. This could be disastrous.

My only hope is that she doesn't remember, but that doesn't help much. She had much, much less wine than me and was completely sober by the time she left. Well fudge.

My hopes are dashed even further when she calls a few hours later.

"I talked to Jazz and he's going to talk to Edward on Monday," she says instead of a normal greeting.

"Uh . . . come again?"

"Jasper's friend," she says as if I'm stupid. "You're not getting out of this now, Bella Swan. You agreed last night. So I convinced Jasper to talk to Edward next week to see if he'd be interested in a double date or something like that."

A double date. Well, that's different than what I had in mind. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. At least I'd have Alice and Jasper there in case things got too awkward. I guess my loosened inhibitions didn't totally screw up my comfortable life.

"A double date would be good," I agree. "Just let me know, I guess."

After we hang up, I change clothes and go for a short run, hoping the fresh air will clear the rest of the clutter in my head. The rhythmic pounding of my feet against the pavement and the music playing in my ear does help, and by the time I'm back home and drinking a bottle of water to cool down, I feel like maybe I can analyze this new situation clearly.

Edward. I could be going on a date with a guy named Edward. The name is not what I expected from someone close to my age. Oh God, what if he's not my age? What if I'm getting set up with someone who will get the senior citizen discount? Alice wouldn't do that to me, though. I hope. She's heard enough to know that geriatric is not my type.

So maybe Edward doesn't go by Edward. Maybe he's an Ed. That's a little better. But then Ed makes me think of a middle-aged guy. Which does not leave me much hope for a night of good sex. Fudge, fudge, fudge.

I'm starting to think having a fuzzy head wasn't so bad. At least then, the thoughts weren't so clear and running like a river through my brain.

They don't stop, either. I spend the next week thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong and then thinking about it some more. Alice calls me on Wednesday to say that Edward agreed to a double date Saturday night, and that only increases my anxiety and the speed of my thoughts.

I realize why I don't date. It's way too stressful. Cats and Netflix are where it's at, and I'm glad I have a good backup plan for when this date goes horribly wrong. Which I'm convinced it will.

.

On Saturday morning, any hope I had left of the date going well is shattered when Alice calls and confirms one of my biggest fears. I had told myself Alice and Jasper coming down with a stomach virus was a really far fetched scenario and probably wouldn't happen, but lo and behold, they're spending the night worshipping the porcelain gods and I'm all alone.

Am I supposed to go on the date anyway? Am I ready for something like that? But even if I'm not, do I have the guts to get this guy's phone number to call and cancel? None of these options sound very good, but my panic is interrupted by my phone chiming with a text.

I grab it and see the text is from an unfamiliar number, and all it says is my name with a question mark.

_Bella?_

_. . . Yes?_

_Hey, this is Edward. I got your number from Alice._

Oh shit. Alice is a traitor. I start thinking of all the things I'm going to do to get back at her, but his next text comes before I get too far.

_Sorry I didn't call, but since we don't exactly know each other, that might be weird. _

_That's fine. So . . . what can I help you with?_

_I just wanted to see if maybe you still wanted to go out tonight? We still have a reservation, and I've heard the food is really good. And I'd really like to meet you. No pressure or anything._

Well that's not what I was expecting. He still wants to go out with me. Huh. My opinion of him goes up a little for that. He's sweet talking me, and he likes food. Maybe it won't be so bad without my buffer. He'll be alone too, after all.

What the heck.

_Sure, that'd be good. Still meet at 7?_

_Yes, 7. I look forward to meeting you._

_Me too._

I drop my phone likes it's on fire and start pacing my room. He's looking forward to meeting me which is nice and everything, but now I remember something very important. I don't know how to date. I'm awkward. Guys are basically mythical creatures to me at this point because it's been so long. What do you do with one? What will we talk about?

Yeah, this is still going to be a disaster.

I distract myself with a shower and actually take the time to style my hair and put on makeup. After going through a million different outfit choices, I put on the dress and sandals Alice originally suggested for me a few days ago and take a long look in my full length mirror. Surprisingly, I look . . . nice. Pretty. Definitely better than I usually look with minimal makeup and my hair in a ponytail. If all else fails, at least I feel good about how I look tonight. I'd do me so maybe Edward will feel the same. Not that I'm counting on anything happening on the first date but it'd be nice to be desired by someone close to my age for once – and Alice has assured me that he isn't old enough to be my dad or granddad.

The panic returns as I drive to the restaurant we'd agreed on. I feel completely out of my element, even more so when I walk inside. Am I supposed to text or call him to say I'm here? Is he already here waiting on me? This was such a bad idea.

I finally put my big girl panties on and ask the hostess if anyone named Edward has arrived for a seven o'clock reservation. For once, something goes my way, and the hostess confirms that a man has arrived and is waiting on me. She leads me through the restaurant to a private table in the back.

And I almost pass out when I see who's sitting at the table.

Gorgeous Son Cullen.

He's Edward. Holy hottie hotness, Batman. He's definitely not geriatric or middle aged or anything other than the finest specimen of man I've ever laid eyes on in my life.

And he's here to meet me. Me.

Or at least I hope he is.

"Edward?" I ask hesitantly, and the butterflies erupt in my stomach as he smiles.

"Bella?" I nod and he stands and walks over to me, giving me a gentle hug. Holy mother of God he smells amazing, too. I barely manage to stop from inappropriately smelling him before he steps back and helps me into my seat.

Once I'm settled and he returns to his seat, we just stare at each other. I'm sure I'm smiling like a crazy person, but that's okay because he's smiling, too.

"You look . . . wow, you're beautiful." He shakes his head a little, like he's amazed by me, and I can feel my blush show up for the party.

"Thank you," I say softly. "You look very nice, too. Sorry it's just me tonight."

"Don't apologize. I'm starting to think that stomach bug was a blessing in disguise." He winks, and I die a little on the inside.

Somehow, I think I manage to sound like a normal person as we make small talk while we study the menu. After we have our drinks and place our orders, the real pressure is on. My original goal had just been to survive the evening, but now that I know _this_ is Edward, I want him to like me and not think I'm a complete weirdo.

"So Jasper mentioned that you're a nurse?" he asks, seeming interested. "I'm sure that's never boring."

I nod. "Yeah, I am, and you're right about that. Boring is not the word I'd ever use to describe it, but I love it." I debate how much else to say, but if this goes anywhere, the truth will eventually come out. Might as well get it over with now. "I actually work in your dad's office. I just didn't realize it was you I'd be meeting tonight."

"Oh yeah?" He smiles, those pretty green eyes mesmerizing me. "You had no idea it was me?"

"Nope. I'm still kind of new, and I'd never even heard your name before."

"Huh. That's pretty cool. So how did you know it was me?"

"I recognized you." Oh, fudge. "Um . . . from your picture. Dr. Cullen has some in his office. I've seen them. Yeah."

He chuckles and takes a sip of his drink. "This is a pretty small world."

"Guess so," I agree, relieved that he doesn't seem to be judging me on my word vomit. "And you work with Jasper?"

"I do," he confirms. He goes on to explain his job as a software engineer, and though most of it goes over my head, I find myself enjoying listening to him. He's passionate and seems to really love developing software and whatever else he does. I try to smile and nod in the right places because really, the only thing I know about technology is how to check my email and how to watch Netflix. That's more than enough to keep me happy.

Thankfully, our food comes before I have to think of another topic. I get comfortable as we eat because we mainly focus on how good the food is and I don't have a chance for too much word vomit since I can't talk with my mouth full.

I don't even mention anything gross while we're eating either which is a first for me. Usually I have Mom and Dad gagging at least once. Apparently gonorrhea discharge and pus-filled abscesses aren't appropriate dinner conversation. Who knew?

I get a little too comfortable because once the food's gone, I'm at a loss. What happens now? Do we call it a night and leave? Do we keep talking? Do I act like a pig and order a bunch of dessert just so I don't have to try to have a conversation? If only it was acceptable for me to just stare at him for another few hours. That'd be nice.

Edward is much better at this whole dating thing than I am and suggests a walk to take advantage of the nice weather. I agree, and after settling the bill, we begin our slow journey along the sidewalk.

I still feel awkward, but being out in the open is not as bad as it was in the restaurant. We walk close together and every so often, Edward's hand brushes against mine until it's enclosed in his larger one.

"Is this okay?" he asks, and I smile.

"More than okay." I squeeze his hand. "My hand likes yours a lot."

Did I really just say that? I don't have too much time to be embarrassed though because he simply chuckles and squeezes back.

"Good. I'd say mine likes yours, too."

I try to let go of the rest of my nerves as we continue walking through a nice park, but they come back full force when he leads us to a well lit bench and gestures for me to sit down.

Edward sits beside me, wrapping his arm lightly around my shoulder. Okay, this is really nice.

"Wanna play twenty questions?" he asks. "I know it's lame, but maybe we can learn more about each other."

Not so nice. Twenty questions _and_ answers are a lot of opportunities for me to put my foot in my mouth, but I agree because he looks so excited about it.

"Okay first question: favorite color?"

His eyes are mesmerizing me again, causing me to blurt out, "Green."

"Really?" he asks, the grin he's now sporting showing that he's on to me. I guess it's been pretty obvious that I can't stop staring at him.

"Yes. Wait, no." I sigh. "Purple is usually my favorite. But I am really enjoying the green tonight. What about you?"

"Brown," he says right away, and I narrow my eyes at him. "What?" He shrugs. "I'm really enjoying the brown tonight, too. But I guess my true favorite is blue. So what do you like to do for fun?"

Fun? Hmm. I have no idea what the right answer to this question is, but my mouth takes off without me.

"Work is fun, I guess. I also like Netflix. I'm basically a professional Netflix marathoner. Sometimes I go running just so my ass doesn't realize how much pizza and soda I enjoy. Um . . . I like naps? And I'm thinking about learning to knit or some kind of creative shit like that. I'm basically a cat lady without the cat but I'm thinking of getting one soon just to complete the image. I mean, what kind of cat lady doesn't have a cat? I'm twenty-five so maybe I can manage to keep one alive. Although I didn't have very good luck with the plant my parents gave me when I moved into my house so maybe a cat's a bad idea."

His eyes slowly widen as I ramble which makes me take a deep breath and pause. Great. Now he's going to run away screaming.

"I'm . . . yeah, I'm awkward." I shrug and look down, feeling embarrassed. "I don't get out much if you couldn't already tell. Sorry."

"No!" he says right away, pulling me closer. "Don't do that. Don't apologize. I think you're . . . really great. You're honestly a breath of fresh air."

Looking up, I'm surprised to see that he's smiling. And even though I'm not standing, my knees get weak because he's just gorgeous. His eyes sparkle and they're crinkled in the corners – showing that he's genuinely happy.

"You're beautiful," I blurt out.

He laughs. "Thank you. So are you." His eyes roam slowly down my body, and I feel like he's touching me. "Really beautiful. Damn." He shakes his head like he can't believe it. I can't believe _him_. "Where have you been?"

He says the last part to himself but I'm me so of course I answer.

"Probably in my living room."

Again, he laughs, and I laugh too because I know he's not being mean.

"Probably so, but I can't say I blame you. Movies and pizza . . . that sounds good to me."

"Yeah? There's a nice couch, too. For naps and stuff. You can come visit sometime if you want. To see the couch and my TV, which is also pretty cool. Jasper picked it out and hooked it up, and I don't really understand it but I know which buttons to hit so it's fine. If you want to visit you might want to do it now before I become a cat lady. Because of the cat hair . . . and all . . . yeah."

He watches me for a few seconds, still smiling, but then he eyes become softer. "Bella, are you inviting me over to your house right now?"

Am I? Do I want that? The more I think about it, the answer is clear.

"Yes? I mean, yes, I'd really like if you did. I have some cookies and ice cream we could have for dessert. I'm not – I mean, we don't have to do anything. I don't want –"

I'm cut off by his lips against mine.

Well that was unexpected.

It takes me all of two seconds to respond, and holy cow, this gorgeous man can kiss. It's slow and soft but just enough pressure to show that he wants to devour me if I'd let him, and I'm serious considering it. My lips move with his, follow his lead, and it's all so, so good. He releases me too soon, but follows the mother of all first kisses with a few simple pecks that continue until I'm smiling and giggling too much to kiss him back.

Okay, maybe we do have to do something because now the rest of my body is very much awake and ready for the party to continue.

"Dessert sounds great," he says, smiling along with me. "And not to presume or anything, but whatever happens tonight, I want you to know that this isn't something I do all the time. This – us, we're different. I just don't want you to think that I see you as –"

I cut him off this time. My lips just can't help themselves when he's being so sweet. I know I'm not just a conquest to him. If that's all he wanted, I'm sure he wouldn't have wasted a whole night with me.

And he's right. We are different. There's something here between us. This chemistry. It's been slowly sparking and fizzling all night, and I'm excited to see how it'll react with – if we're _together_ together. As long as my affinity for awk doesn't screw everything up. Oh fudge, that's pretty much a guarantee.

I momentarily keep myself from worrying about all the things that will probably go wrong later and focus on our kiss. It's just as good as the one before and also ends too soon. But this time when Edward pulls back, he grabs my hand and stands, pulling me with him so fast that I get even more lightheaded.

I'm high on this man and loving every minute of it.

Somehow we make it to his car between more kisses and some PG-13 groping. I doubt we'll even make it to dessert at the rate we're going. The touches continue in the car as I direct him to my house. It's a miracle we don't get lost or crash and die because of how distracted we are by each other, but we make it safely and stumble into my living room together.

Things cool down a little when I turn the light on. The passion is still there, but I think we both realize this will be even more fun if we slow down a bit.

"Soo . . ." I slowly turn around with my arms out. "This is my living room. I'm sure you feel like you know it since you've heard so much about it."

He chuckles and looks around, nodding in appreciation. "It's great. I can see why you like the couch so much. It looks very comfortable."

"Oh, it is. My bed is comfortable, too."

I smack my forehead, really wishing I could take that back. Now he's gonna think I'm just in this for one thing.

But like the gentleman he's been all night, he simply grabs my hand and brings it up to his mouth for a kiss.

"We can have dessert later?" he suggests. "I'd be up for a bedroom tour first."

I snort. "Oh I know you're _up_ for it. I felt that in the car."

He laughs loudly, pulling me into a tight hug and another tingling kiss. "You'd be right about that. So which way to the tour?"

Something comes over me and I attack, wrapping my arms around his neck and attaching myself to him. Maybe it's because he's so nice. Maybe it's because he still smells amazing. Maybe it's because I know my dry spell is about to end. Whatever it is, I can't stop myself or keep myself away from him.

Thankfully, he understands and picks me up, my legs wrapping around his waist. I give mostly unintelligible directions as I continue my assault, and we actually make it to my room.

Unfortunately, I didn't prepare for this while getting ready. I have a habit of completely destroying my room anytime I have to dress in something other than scrubs, and today is no different. So as soon as Edward walks into my room, he trips on . . . something, and we stumble into the door. He doesn't drop me but doorknobs don't feel very nice poking into you.

"Shit," Edward mumbles, releasing my legs gently and reaching around to cradle my back. It's too late for that, but I can appreciate the gesture. "Sorry, Bella. Are you okay?"

"Oww," I moan softly. "I'm okay. I'm okay. Sorry my room is a disaster." I take a moment to look around, and yep – shoes and clothes are everywhere, along with my wet towels from my shower. Maybe I'm single because I'm a complete slob. There's a thought I haven't had yet. Huh.

"That's fine," he says and rubs my back. "I know this is unexpected. I'll just watch where I'm going." He winks before kissing me again, and everything is back to where it was before the mini disaster.

We make it to the edge of the bed and sit down beside each other. That isn't close enough for my liking, so I straddle his lap. And oh boy. That's a feeling I'd forgotten about. I rock slowly as we kiss, the friction making my eyes roll back in my head. God, this is fabulous.

"You feel so good," he murmurs, letting his hands roam over my back and then toward the front. I arch my back, trying to get closer and encourage his hands to go where I want them.

"So do you." My boobs rejoice when they're covered with his hands, and even through the fabric, I feel the heat. "Oh, God, yes. Yessss. My boobs are bigger fans than my hands."

"Mmm." He chuckles and begins kissing down my neck. His breath is hot and makes me shudder. I might not survive this. "As much as my hands like yours, I think they'd agree this is much better." He kneads a little harder to prove his point, and yep, I won't be surviving. "Can I?"

I nod quickly, having no idea what he's even asking, but I'd agree to anything this man asked of me. As long as his hands don't leave my body, I'm game for anything.

But then his hands do leave my body, and I start to complain before I realize he's trying to figure out how to get rid of my dress. It's actually fairly simple and just needs to be unzipped and pulled over my head so after he takes care of the zipper, I reach down to try to help him. I can't figure out why my dress isn't going anywhere, but then I realize I'm sitting on part of it. I lean forward slightly which helps but combined with how hard Edward is pulling on my dress, creates way more momentum than necessary. The next thing I know, my dress is stuck around my head, arms, and boobs and I'm halfway on the floor.

"Well, this is a nice view." My voice is muffled through the fabric but not for too much longer. Edward immediately tries to pull me back up. He mostly fails and we both wind up totally in the floor, but he does manage to pull the dress the rest of the way off me.

Neither of us says anything as we lay beside each other in the floor, me mostly naked. It would be kind of romantic except for the whole getting stuck and falling thing we've got going on right now. Even my mind – crazy as it is – hadn't been able to come up with a scenario exactly like this.

We both stare for a while longer, but then Edward snorts, clearly trying to hold in his laughter. This sets me off and then we're rolling around together, laughing so hard my sides hurt and I can't breathe. I wind up on top of him which gives me the best view of his crinkly eye smile.

"Hi," he says, lifting his head to kiss me.

"Hi." I giggle but stop myself from getting to the point of painful laughter. "This is . . . not what I was expecting."

"No, I can't say that I was expecting it either."

"Can we go for a mulligan?"

"Nah." He shakes his head slightly. "It's been unexpected, but this is the most fun I've ever had with someone else." I raise an eyebrow, not sure that I trust his judgment. "No, really," he assures me. "You say you're awkward, but to me, you're just real. And fun. But I agree that maybe we should try for no more injuries."

That sounds like a good idea to me. I carefully stand so I don't kick him in the crotch on accident. I'd like to experience that as is, not horribly maimed. I offer my hand to him which he takes, and when he's standing too, he sweeps me into my arms and gently lays me on my unmade bed. Maybe my slob ways aren't such a bad thing after all.

He crawls in next to me, leaning over me as our lips join again. But all I can think about is how I'm half naked and he still has all his clothes on. I immediately start trying to unbutton his shirt but fail miserably. Dress shirts are sexy and all, but jeez couldn't they have emergency release velcro in the back or something? I don't have time for this.

Edward – perfect man that he is – knows what I'm trying to do and takes over. He's much better at unbuttoning than I am, so I take the opportunity to undo my bra. Might as well play to our strengths.

Soon, his pants and shirt join my dress and bra in the floor and we're finally skin to skin. I hum in pleasure, loving how this feels. The smell of him, his weight on me, the warmth of our bodies together . . . it's almost sensory overload. But I'm definitely not complaining.

Hands and lips resume their exploration. Before I know it, Edward's mouth has already visited my boobs and stomach and then my panties are gone and holy shit can that mouth do some fabulous things. It's too much but not enough and honestly I'm worried if he goes much further that my legs are going to crush his head.

Since we don't want any more injuries, I regretfully stop him and coax him back up to me. We kiss slowly, trying to ignore the fact that we both need some release as soon as possible. I can see that he's straining against his perfect black, boxer briefs, and I can't stop my hips from trying to get closer to him.

Our eyes lock, and together we get rid of the last piece of fabric between us and I get my first real look at all of him. My brain can't even process how perfect he is or how excited I am to have him inside me.

And when he slowly slides home, I can barely breathe, let alone think.

"Fuck," he gasps, pulling out. "Condom? I didn't think. Do you . . .?"

It takes a second for me to realize what he's saying, but then I'm cursing in my head with him. I don't have any condoms. It's been two years of me and my trusty vibrator. No condoms needed. But then I remember that lovely pill I've been taking like clockwork every day for the last several years.

"I'm on the pill," I quickly explain, wrapping my legs around his to try to pull him back. I _need_ it. "And I'm clean. First time in . . . a while."

"For me too," he says. "And I'm clean, too."

I nod. "I know."

As soon as I realize what I said, my eyes widen and I wish I could disappear.

"You know?" He smirks a little, holding himself up with his arms. "How would you know that?"

"I . . . uh . . . well, you see. The thing is . . . I kinda overheard your dad giving you your test results the other week. I promise I didn't snoop or anything. Please don't call the HIPAA police on me!"

I'm starting to panic, but he silences me with a quick kiss.

"Bella!" He chuckles. "It's okay. I'm not mad or anything. And I won't be calling the hippo police or whatever. I kind of just like to listen to your word vomit."

I gasp and slap his arm. "You jerk! I'm over here trying to figure out backup careers for when they take my license away."

"Sorry, sorry." He's laughing so I know he doesn't mean it. "You're cute when you're angry, too."

"I'll show you cute . . . "

"Wait! Wait. Okay, so we're both clean and protected and all that jazz. So let's get back to it, hmm?"

Now that sounds more like it. I agree, and before I can say anything else, he's back inside me.

Hard and fast and slow and teasing . . . man, this guy knows how to do this. I do my best to meet him thrust for thrust, but goodness I feel so good that I really just want to bask in this pleasure running everywhere through my body.

"Oh God, Edward!" I groan and fist the sheets in one hand and his hair with the other as he hits a particularly good spot.

"You're perfect," he tells me, breathlessly. "God, so perfect. I won't last long."

I nod and pull him down so I can enjoy his lips some more. Really, it's totally fine because I won't last much longer either. Especially when his fingers find my clit and somehow know exactly how I like to be touched.

I moan out his name when I come, arching off the bed because it's _so_ good. I forgot what it was like to have an orgasm that another person was responsible for and how much better and longer it can be. I'm still riding the best wave ever when Edward places his head against my neck and lets out the sexiest sound as he stills, thrusting a few more times before gently falling on top of me.

When he tries to move off me, I hold him in place, still too sensitive for anything like that.

"Wait," I say softly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

He nods, kissing my jaw, understand what I need.

We lay in the quiet for a while, not needing to say or do anything. But eventually we do have to move and after quickly cleaning up in the bathroom, we cuddle under the covers and share lazy kisses.

"That was incredible," he tells me which makes me feel all warm inside.

"It was," I agree with a smile. "Thank you. I've never . . . yeah, that was amazing."

"Thank _you. _It was better than dessert for sure. Although, I have worked up an appetite now. Can we still have cookies and ice cream?"

I laugh but am totally game with this plan. We go on a naked adventure into the kitchen but bring the food back to the bedroom. The ice cream sandwiches we make are delicious, and the conversation is good, too.

We talk more about our lives and families and miraculously, my word vomit is nowhere to be found. I'm thinking maybe he sexed it out of me, and I'm definitely not complaining. I sound like a functioning adult for once as I tell him about my parents, growing up only a few minutes from here, and my decision to return after college.

Edward's story is a bit different since his parents only moved here a few years ago and he didn't follow until last year to be closer to them and his brother's family. He's such a family man, and I find it so adorable. It gives me hope that maybe – if this becomes more – we can have a family together. I've never really thought about it since I assumed I'd be single forever, but the 'what ifs' run wild in my brain like usual – these giving me all the happy feelings.

I'm well aware that we've known each other for less than twenty-four hours, but I've never felt anything like this before. Maybe it's just the spectacular orgasm talking and I really am crazy.

Meh. I'm okay with that.

Our conversation ends when we discover our sweet treat has made us all sticky. But the shower we decide to have together makes up for that.

Shower sex seems like a good idea, but when I almost bust my head open just because his fingers are inside me, we nix that plan and just try to get clean as fast as possible. We make it out injury-free and go for round two in the bed where it's mostly safe. Besides him literally banging my head into the headboard, this time is just as good as the first. And even though I don't think I'll ever get enough of him, we decide to take a break.

My vagina appreciates it because though she's having fun, it's the first fun of this. . . magnitude ever, really. Previous boyfriends just can't compare to what Edward has going on. And boy, does he know how to use that cock. I can understand why I'm single, but why hasn't anyone snatched this guy up?

We lie together, arms around each other – just breathing and being. I never thought I'd actually have a man in my bed like this. Cuddling close together after a night of wonderful sex and conversation.

Holy shit.

There's a man in my bed.

There really is. We had toe-curling sex. And he possibly likes me. Awkward me. And he's not old enough to be my great grandfather. Win all around.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks softly, running his fingertips over my side. The goosebumps that I feel popping up make me smile.

"That I'm really glad you're here. And that your scrotum is definitely much nicer than the last one I saw."

Oh, fudge. I guess he didn't sex the word vomit out of me. Great.

His body stiffens and not in the good way, and I want to bang my head against the wall, though it still kind of hurts from the headboard incident. I open my mouth to try to take it back, but he stops me when he barks out a laugh and pulls me closer.

"I think I'm going to consider that a compliment, so thank you. I'm glad my . . . yeah . . . is nice. Can I ask how old the guy was?"

"Eighties," I mumble, hiding my face against his chest. "It wasn't pretty. Kinda shrively. Okay I'll shut up now."

He laughs louder, pulling back slightly to see my face. His green eyes are doing that crinkle thing I like because he's smiling so big. "I really like you, Bella. This night has been one of the best ever."

That isn't what I expected him to say, but I'll take it. "I really like you, too. I mean, you're still here after . . . everything. I think I'll keep you."

And that's not even word vomit. This guy is something special. Yeah, he's nice to look at but there's more there too. We just click and I think we go well together. Especially considering he hasn't run away screaming yet after everything that has happened.

Definitely something special.

"I think I'll keep you, too." He kisses me, starting slow and gentle but soon it's deep and body-tingling and we wind up bodies tangled again. Who needs a break from perfection anyway?

Again, it's perfect. We might be perfect. It's probably too soon to know for sure, but I don't care because I'm pretty sure I'm well on my way to having a real, non-battery-operated boyfriend – and future – I can use to turn down my many elderly suitors.

Best night ever.


End file.
